Lynda Lambert read a top 10 list this morning, and it was adapted from an article in Men's Health Magazine. You can read the original article HERE.
Here is Lynda's interpretation (and edit) of that list...
10. A witty email signature - quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances not at the end of your emails George....who signs off with either - "Did you ever know that you're my hero" or " You put the boom boom into my heart." And Aaron's that reads "There was a man from Nantucket..."
9.An empty refrigerator - Your pantry should be amply stocked - always ready to create an on-the-fly three course dinner for her..When you open the fridge you should see more than a can of cheese whiz and a six pack of zima.
8.Playstation Thumb - Grown men when relaxing...can behave like children. But if you devote enough time to cause calluses or button shaped bruises you're a loooooser. Get rid of those calluses...and while you're at it, buy yourself a heeler and get rid of that isthmus growing out the back of your left foot.
7. A keychain with a bottle opener - both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using impromptu bottle openers - a lighter, the back end of a fork,
6. Less than $20 in your wallet. A real man should always carry a business card and enough cash to pick up coffee, bagels and the SUnday paper without whipping out the plastic...and stop saying - Lynda can I borrow a buck 25 for a water...or Eunice and/or Deanna says I've already used my allowance for the week.
5. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. We have one word for you - swill. We will not want you more if you serve us swill.
4. The need to quote The Big Lebowski, Caddyshack, Superbad - Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you're too stupid to write your own. Telling us "Shut the _________up, Donny" "The dude abides" or "That's a peach, hon" does not make us hot for you.
3. Drinking glasses with logos - especially if they sport the hamburglar logo from McDonald's or are engraved with the phrase "Yo quiero Taco bell?"
2. Code words for ugly women - actually code words for anything. We have code words, too - like NO, Not on your life, I have to wash my hair. I have a headache, and yes you're the BEST I've ever had.
1. And finally, a name for any part of your body. But especially THAT part. Just because you give it a name, it doesn't make us want to get to know it any better. Familiarity breeds contempt. You're on a first name basis with it, YOU close your own deal.
